Nintendo Corporation Police
by monkeybait
Summary: There are laws to being a video game character? No one told Link.


**I will not abbandon my old LOZ story, but I don't know how long I'll continue this one. It will make Link regret ever wishing he had a fairy.**

Link had just defeated the evil beast inside of the Great Deku Tree. He was happy for his victory as he walked across Hyrule Field. A small ball of light trailed behind him. A very annoying small ball of light.

" HEY!"

Link turned to look at his fairy. " What is it?"

" LISTEN!"

" I am listening," Link said, not quite annoyed... yet.

" Let's go to Hyrule Field to see Princess Zelda like the Great Deku Tree told you!" Navi stated.

" Okay, okay!" Link yelled, covering his ears. " Must you be so loud?"

" HEY!"

" What!"

" LISTEN!"  
" I AM LISTENING!" Link said really loudly. " Okay, sorry for yelling at you. What is it?"

" YES!"

" Yes what?"

" Yes I must be that loud!" Navi screamed. Link rolled his eyes.

" Why?"  
" HEY!"  
" Do we have to go through this whole thing again?"  
" LISTEN!"  
" WHAT! What is it!" Link asked through gritted teeth. Navi was beginning to bug him.

" Because I have to be noticed!"  
" What are you talking about!"

" I have to be loud so I can be noticed!"

" Trust me, you're very noticeable for a floating ball of light. Don't say anything," he added, because he knew she would.

As they approached Hyrule, suddenly the gate closed. Night came.

" I could have sworn it had only been day a few minutes ago..." Link wondered out loud.

" HEY!"  
" Navi-"

" LISTEN!"  
" Navi-!"

" Me too!"

" Yeah, well, whatever," Link said.

Suddenly, some very evil looking skeletons popped out of the ground.

" HEY!"  
" What is it Navi...?"

" LISTEN!"  
" What!"

" The Hyrule gate has closed!"

Link stared at her.

" Way to state the obvious, as usual." Link sighed, taking out his sword and slashing the monsters. Day came back.  
" HEY!"  
" Navi, please stop that-"  
" LISTEN!"  
" Navi, cut it out!"  
" That didn't take any time at all!"

" NAVI! Gosh, you annoying little firefly, stop saying stuff I already know!"

Link raised his sword attempting to cut off Navi's wings, when a big, shiny black limousine pulled up. Two men came out. The both of them looked like people you might see in Men in Black. They both had slicked-back hair, dark glasses, and tuxedos. They stood there perfectly still, like they were in the army or something,

" Are you Link?" the first man said. His voice also sounded like one you might hear in Men in Black.

" Y-yeah," Link said, sword frozen over his head. Navi took that chance to fly off into Hyrule.

" My name is Mr. Austin," the first man said. " That's Mr. Topeka. We're from the NCP."

" What's that stand for?" Link asked nervously.

" Nintendo Corperation Police," said Mr. Austin, " and you were just about to violate one of the major rules in the NCP Book of Laws."

Mr. Topeka held up a very large book.

" On page 2009, section thirty four," Mr. Topeka said, " there is no slashing off the wings of a flying creature on the side of justice." He snapped the book closed.

" Breaking the laws of Nintendo Corporation messes up the game and makes it less fun for the player," Mr. Austin explained. " This game is clearly rated "E" for everyone. And they mean everyone, Mr. Link."  
" Um," Link said, completely lost.

" Violation of small rules like this one are punishmentless, but they waste valuable player time that could be spent doing things you're supposed to be doing, such as getting to Hyrule," Mr. Topeka said. " I believe you were trying to hurt your fairy Navi, who is playing the part she has been programmed to do. Going against your lines causes the game to go into complete mayhem and then there will be no more plot. Therefore, hurting Navi ruins the game not just for you, but for everybody. Causing one more of any of these small violations can force the game into destruction and we'll have to go into lockdown mode. Do you understand, Mr. Link?"

Link stares blankly.

" Good, I'm glad. We'll come back if you break any more of these rules. And the way you're going, I suggest you get a good attorney straight away."

" But what's an attorn-"

" Goodbye."

Mr. Austin and Mr. Topeka drive away.

" That was interesting," Link inquired.

" HEY!"  
" Oh no, not you again."  
" LISTEN!"  
" What?" Link said annoyed-sounding.

" Attorney, noun: A person legally pointed by another to act his or her agent in the transaction of business, specially one qualified and liscensed to act for plaintiffs and defendants in legal proceedings."

Link stares.

" Um, thanks Navi..."

**That definition for attorney came from dictionary . com. I hope you enjoyed it! I did come up with NCP. YAY!**

**Author formally known as banana.**


End file.
